In Neutral

Three weeks since the externship ended; two weeks until graduation. In more ways than one, this is a turning point in my life, a walk around a corner with no hope of going back. It feels vast, and empty, and a little bit lonely.

At the moment, I don't really see the light at the end of the tunnel, though I know it's out there somewhere. I want to have something to brag about when I meet my former classmates and chef-teachers on March 8. More than that, I want to be a wage-earner once again. More than that, I want to be working. Seriously. I do.

I'm planning a little pre-graduation party for my CCA friends and their assorted hangers-on (David will be mine, and the host); Andrea has already RSVP'd and Andy's bringing his girlfriend AND his mother! I'm trying to get in touch with Silvia, and hopefully Derrick will be back from Hawaii, and I can hardly wait to hear about everyone's adventures. I'm thinking of roasting a whole pork butt (from "buttress," remember your butchery!) a la Momofuku in NYC. They serve it as a wrap with butter lettuce, kimchi, and white rice. I'm thinking a vinegary cucumber and radish salad in lieu of the kimchi.

Cooklady Went To School.

I'm finished.

Now what?

Actually, it was a lovely last day, topped off by a celebratory lunch with Sarah, my internship supervisor. We shared cheese and charcuterie at the Ferry Building Wine Merchant, where we also each enjoyed a flight of Italian reds. And we talked about food, of course, and places that we visit or want to visit, and books that we've read or want to read. And we agreed that, even though the view of the future is pretty hazy, we're glad that we've chosen this particular path. Because, you know, food people are the nicest people.