"I'm Laboring Under the Impression That This is Post-Secondary Education"

Steve Eliot is teaching our Wine Studies I class (he also contributes to The Connoisseur's Guide to California Wine. Despite the listing in the syllabus, this class is one straight week, "a twenty-five hour university seminar," according to Steve, to be followed by two weeks of Intro to Business Management.

Steve says he's been teaching this class for 18 years and it's clear that he has the routine down. In fact, Andrea said, "He doesn't even need an audience." He's in his late 50s, probably, dressed in a jacket and tie, with gray hair curled around his shirt collar. He talked for five hours with two ten minute breaks. He didn't even look up to register faces as he read through the enrollment list. You get the impression that he'd say and do the exact things in front of a classroom of 250.

Accordingly, I have 12 pages of handwritten notes plus scribbles on the 10-page daily handout he distributed. We began with the course goals and expectations (two part final on Friday, plus 10 points for "professionalism"), then talked about wine classifications, principles of winemaking, wine service and glasses, and the basics of tasting.

Our main objective is to learn the differences between varietals. "Ordering 'red' wine is like looking at the menu and ordering 'meat.'"

Wines are named by appellation (in Europe) or by varietal (in the New World). In Europe, they've had the benefit of thousands of years of experience to decide which grape should grow where — and according to Steve, there is definitely a right place and a wrong place. It's just that winemaking in the US is still a young art — "just one long generation" — and we're in the processing of learning. Steve pointed out that 10 years ago, the Napa Valley was planted with about 30% cabernet and merlot grapes, but that number has grown to about 90% now. "It's A+ cabernet dirt. No reason to plant anything else there."

He's not shy about putting forth his opinions. He scoffed at the "cheap and ugly" phenomenon of absconding European place names and attaching them to jug wine: "A couple of guys from Modesto saying 'We got yer Chablis right here." "'California Burgundy' is like saying 'French San Francisco.' It's absurd." Mondavi, however, got high marks for the more "consciencious and ethical" practice of bottling "California Red," unpretentious and legitimate.

Steve was quick to point out that the class isn't about "buying wines on a student budget." As chefs, we'll have opportunities to taste and serve some of the world's best wines, as restaurants are the single most important vehicle for wine sales. And more importantly, we need to know how to create food to properly accompany those wines.

Andy asked why it wouldn't be possible for a winemaker to make bad wine and charge lots of money for it. "He could," Steve said. "Once."

I've always heard that terroir is important, and that it's good for vines to be in rocky soil, or otherwise stressed. Steve explained the development of the plant: the vegetative stage, where it makes leaves, and the reproductive phase, where it produces grapes. In order for the plant to full engage in the reproductive process, it needs to feel threatened (not to be overly anthropomorphic.)

We learned about the major difference between white and red wine production — stems, seeds and skins are removed before fermenting for white wines. And we learned that the winemaker is essentially a chef, except his pots are bigger.

Steve thinks the idea of the glassware wardrobe — where you have different glasses for reds and whites — is totally bogus. The glass needs to have curved-in sides, to capture the aroma. And never pour more than 1/2 a glass — otherwise, you can't smell it properly.

And room temperature means a room in London, where it's always cold. And looking for "legs" or otherwise judging the wine by its appearance: "In my life, I have never enjoyed a glass of wine by looking at it."

We tasted six California wines today: white riesling; sauvignon blanc; two chardonnays, one mass-produced and one reserve; a pinot noir, and a cabernet sauvignon. Steve wants us to develop some common tasting habits and vocabulary. "My job is to get you to climb into the glass and think." We smell for fruit, then for other aromas; we taste for fruit, then for other flavors; we judge body and finish. It was great fun. Julian was delighted to discover early on that he could discern the difference between the aroma of green apple and ripe apple. Tashana said "Shut up!" when Steve mentioned butter, or toast, or herbs. Then she smelled, and tasted, and believed.

Paper, Rock, Scissors

Another quick day. We had our daily quiz first, with Andy loaning his iPod for background music: live Dead. Derrick said he felt like he was in a doctor's waiting room. I don't know what kind of clinic he attends. I've never heard the Dead at Kaiser.

Chef Stephanie graded the quizzes quickly, then spent time with each student on missed problems, and she reviewed a particularly tricky polenta problem on the board. (How many sheet pans will you be able to fill with 2 kilos of dry polenta, after it's cooked? 2 kilos = 4.4 pounds; according to the Yields book, 1 pound of dry polenta = 11.4 cups cooked for a total of 50.2 cups or 3.14 gallons; each sheet pan will hold 1 gallon: 3 sheet pans.)

Then we took the final: 70 multiple choice questions, with about 1/3 of them being variations on the yield formula. It was clear that Chef is anxious for us to succeed if at all possible: the polenta question on the quiz was replicated on the final, with a slight variation. Quite a number of the answers were obviously wrong: "Paper, Rock, Scissors" are not the three steps of the Purchasing Cycle.

If you have been coming to class, and paying attention, your chances for success are high. Where have we heard that before? Dava was uncharacteristically absent several times this session: rumor has it that there's a new boyfriend.

I've definitely learned an immense amount in this class, despite having a pretty solid foundation in Word and Excel. I also have some familiarity with our next subjects: three weeks of "Intro to Business Management" (marketing techniques, staffing and employee motivation, accounting and profitability) and "Wine Studies" (including "how to read a wine label"). We'll be back at the North Campus starting on Monday.

What Are You Dreaming About?

Do you remember when you first started playing Tetris? How your dreams were filled with falling blocks? This week, I've been dreaming about yields, and AP weight versus EP weight, and lemon rind.

Well, there was that one dream, right before I woke up, where Nick Cage was driving a VW bus, and I was a passenger, and he was careening through the parking lot of my elementary school, and I said, "Just don't flip this thing." I don't know where that came from.

I'm feeling almost guilty, home in time for 10@10, but once we turned in our menu costing reports, we were free to go. The level of stress in the classroom was high (projects are due by noon), and they got higher as Chef Stephanie passed out our graded "pre-final." While Derrick asked if he could just apply his grade to tomorrow's final, more than a few people realized that they have quite a lot to study between now and then. I was glad to walk out into the morning sun, and head home for more coffee.

So I've got a couple of bonus hours. I've already started laundry, and now I can spend some time on some of my favorite things: menu planning, list making, and grocery shopping in preparation for weekend guests.

"Five Hundred Dollars."

That's what Julian offered me today in class, if I'd finish his menu costing project for him. I could probably start a whole side business.

Fortunately, we had a couple of distractions during an otherwise painfully tedious day of spreadsheet development. Chef Stephanie gave a lecture on the "purchasing cycle," followed by her own personal Purchasing Recommendations. She used the word "shit" a couple of times ("sheet") and "damn," so she had the full attention of the class.

To summarize: Purchasing is Selection, then Ordering, then Receiving. While you can select products based on your menu items, she recommends also paying attention to what's in season, and adjusting your menu accordingly. While much ordering is done by telephone, it's also common now to order on-line, and there are some systems with the "price-grabber" feature, so you are supplied by the least expensive vendor. "But that takes you out of the personal relationship," she said.

Chef called the Receiving function the "most abused" in the kitchen: usually it's the dishwasher, closest to the back door, who can most easily drop what he's doing, who takes receipt of the merchandise as it's delivered. She noted the inherent problems with this approach, and she recommended that you take care to train the people handling receiving so that they understand what's expected, and what's acceptable. "Sometimes they're even quite smart," she noted. "They can become quite an asset in your keetchen."

The Purchasing Recommendation part of the lecture was like "Advice from Chef Stephanie," and it was heartfelt. Bread: "Get the good stuff." It's your first impression. Make it special. And be inventive: don't throw it away. Oil and Vinegar: "Taste, taste, taste." Ask your vendor to set up a tasting. Choose judiciously. Don't use one type of product for every application. Dry Goods: "Don't be tempted to always buy the cheapest. Those little inexpensive olives can make a martini taste like sheet."

On Spices: "Buy them whole, and grind them yourself." She spoke rhapsodically about Cheese: "It will be a lifetime's journey to taste them all." She quoted Charles de Gaulle who famously complained, "How can you be expected to govern a country that has 246 kinds of cheese?" She suggested always buying cheese with an appellation, and urged us to become familiar with the seasonality of cheeses. With regard to Dry vs. Fresh, she said, "I'll be very tempted to tell you to always buy fresh. And local." But she acknowledged that sometimes dry is better, and more convenient.

She talked about Luxury Items. "About foie gras, just go for it before the ban is on." And she advocated a continued interest in Specialty Ingredients. "Your customers are expecting exceptional food combinations." She used the example of a sprinkle of pink salt on a plate of scallops carpaccio: "Something is coming up for the eyes." And in summary, "THIS IS YOUR LIFE NOW." (Her emphasis, not mine.) "You should be doing perpetual research on products that will make the difference."

And to top it off, we were excused from class at 11:30 to attend a lunch prepared by one of the Hospitality and Restaurant Management (HRM) classes. They turned a teaching kitchen into a 32-seat restaurant by hanging white tablecloths from the ceiling with thumbtacks, to form walls. They began service at 11 and planned to be open until 1, turning the tables three times. We had a 3-course meal of appetizers (tuna tartare for me), poached salmon or chicken or a vegetable terrine, and either chocolate cake or cheesecake with fruit. They'd run out of the sorbet. Talking amongst ourselves, we were simultaneously ultra-critical (the rims of the plates were not properly wiped, the servers reached across one diner to remove plates, the chocolate cake was dry) and in awe: this was a far bigger project than anything we've undertaken.

How Much is Lemon Zest?

We're continuing to complete our final project worksheets, and this is pretty crazy-making. For example, sugar comes in a 50 pound bag at $18.45. I need to figure out the per-cup price. I divide the price by 50 to get the pound price ($0.369), then I consult The Book of Yields to obtain the conversion factor: in this case, there are 2.25 cups per pound, so you divide the pound price by 2.25 to get the per-cup price of $0.164, or 16¢. I have 35 individual ingredients to calculate, and each is uniquely confusing. Except for eggs. The case price is $10.05, they come 180 eggs to a case, so they're 6¢ each.

Although this is an "in-class" project, I brought my spreadsheet home on my flash drive and I'll be working on the calculations this afternoon. It's easier to focus without all the extraneous classroom hubbub, and with my own personal soundtrack (KT Tunstall, at the moment).

The book doesn't include a conversion factor for lemon zest, and I need 2 cups to make the pancake batter (for 292 pancakes). "Well, go home and grate two lemons. Sometimes the book doesn't include the data you need, so you have to figure it out for yourself."

[pause]

[resume]

So check it out, dawg. I just determined that two "medium" lemons, zested with a microplane, are about 2 tablespoons.
We also know that a case of 165 lemons is $21.75.

To calculate price by volume, we can first determine that one lemon costs $0.131818 (divide $21.75 by 165). To determine the cup price, I calculate the number of tablespoons per cup (=16). Since each lemon provides 1 tablespoon of zest, I'll need 16 lemons per cup of zest, which will cost 16 x $0.13, or $2.11 per cup.

We also learned some other potentially relevant facts: 1 full sheet pan has a 1 gallon capacity. (Some of you might have half-sheet pans — they fit snugly in a home oven — so adjust accordingly.) A standard shallow hotel pan holds 6 quarts. (Those aren't as common in household kitchens.) And an ice cream scoop has a number on it, which refers to the number of full scoops you can get out of a quart of ice cream. That might come in handy some day, don't ya think?

Urban Myth?

Did Michael Chiarello, on the Food Channel, actually make a dessert by rolling balls of vanilla ice cream in Tang?? I couldn't find any reference to it on Snopes. Surely it's not true!

Well, our kitchen math projects are due on Thursday, the entire assignment is underway and will all be completed in class, and the folks who have been missing days are really having trouble right now. Chef Stephanie clearly has no patience for repeating herself: while she's totally helpful with questions that arise on current work, she will not go backwards to explain the parts of the project that you missed if you were absent. She expects that you will catch up by applying yourself and working collaboratively with your classmates when necessary. Not surprisingly, though, the people who need help are all part of the "we miss school a lot" clique, and they're not much use to one another. Those of us who are up to speed are helpful to varying degrees. Andy is always generous with his time. Andrea sends out a different vibe. I'm not much of a helper either. "You made that bed..." I guess I've been a mother too long.

And I value this whole experience too much. I'm reminded again from the advice we got during orientation on the first day: when you leave school, you take what you learn. Your classmate will not be standing next to you, on the job, to help out if you're unclear on the concept.

So our final project will consist of a menu with pricing, recipes (Chef gave us each a random number of servings to prepare: I'm expecting 73 for breakfast), a purchase order, a cover sheet, a cover letter (requesting a 50% deposit), and a pricing calculator, which we will build in class. Today, we began working on the purchase order (using a standard list of products and prices, supplied by the Chef) but we'll be learning how to use The Book of Yields in order to finish this part of the project. For example, I need about 7 cups of flour for my ginger biscotti, but flour comes in a fifty-pound bag. And, no, that saying "A pint is a pound, the world around" just isn't true!

Friday Comes Around Again

Chef Stephanie started class just after seven this morning, announcing, "Well, we are fifty percent. We might as well begin." Jim and Travis arrived an hour later, complaining about Bay Bridge traffic, and Silvia came at break time. She said Chef dislikes her: when Silvia asked if she should turn in her homework, Chef said, "If you were here at seven, you would know that we've already reviewed that in class."

We did two kitchen math worksheets, the same sorts of problems that we worked on yesterday, and then we spent most of the morning preparing the Excel workbook that will become our final project. Mine has fourteen sheets (twelve recipes, plus a requisition sheet and a summary page). Lots of formatting. There's noisy construction work going on in the walls or in the ceiling, or both, so Chef put on a CD to provide a more pleasant ambiance. She chose chamber music, and Andrea said, "I feel like I'm waiting for the wedding to start."

Derrick was absent today. Now Andrea and I are the only students still in the running for the perfect attendance medal.

Next week is the last week of kitchen math. I think we'll be entering prices into our recipe worksheets and calculating portion costs and stuff like that. In the meantime, it's the weekend, starting now. Enjoy yours!

Yield Ahead

First thing, one of the externship counselors stopped in to pick up our completed forms. We also received the outline of the externship program. We need Training Agreements in order to pass Advanced Garde Manger — basically, by the end of September — but we're encouraged to start outlining the possibilities now. During the externship, we have to submit a weekly attendance form, a progress report completed by our extern supervisor, a final evaluation by the supervisor, and a completion interview. My externship period is from November 12 until February 1, and right now, I just hope it involves a later wake-up call.

This was today's lesson, in summary:

Yield Percentage (Y%) = Edible Portion Weight (EPw) ÷ As Purchased Weight (APw)
Therefore, APw= EPw ÷ Y% and EPw = APw x Y%

Mom was totally paying attention and anticipating today's lesson last night, when she noted [over a plate of Grilled Asparagus with Sliced Prosciutto, shaved Reggiano parmesan and a Meyer lemon vinaigrette], "But don't you have to account for the waste? You have to trim off the bottoms off the asparagus." As if to answer her very question, Chef Stephanie filled the white board with algebra problems, over and over again.

We also discussed the difference between portioning by volume, unit, and weight: Sometimes you need "1 cup," sometimes it's "1 slice," sometimes it's "1 pound." Though it seems self-evident, there are differences in the way you calculate cost. For example, you get all the olive oil out of a 12-ounce bottle (as long as you let the last 10 drops drip out), but there's at least two slices (the ends) of the baguette that you probably won't serve.

There's another twist: the "total weight method" versus the "servable portion method" to calculate ingredients. Chef Stephanie illustrated about the situation with a drawing of a whole fish. First, you must adjust for the yield: the loss from boning and skinning — we'll be using The Book of Yields for that. Then, you have to check the recipe. If you're making fish tartare, for example, all the remaining fish is usable. If you need specific sized individual portions, though (like "4 six-ounce filets"), you have to calculate how many entire portions you can get out of the fish — there might be a smaller-than-acceptable portion that can't be included in your count.

It's pretty logical. Play along if you'd like.

1) We start with a NY strip loin that weighs in at 11 lbs. (APw). When we finish trimming, it weighs 9 lbs. (EPw). What is the yield percentage for this product?

2) You need to serve 120 customers fresh sturgeon with a portion size of 7 oz. Each filet weighs 3.5 lbs. and the yield is 90%. The cost is $6.95 per lb. How many filets do you need to order? What is the total weight of your order as purchased? What is the total cost of your order?

For the first time, Chef Stephanie raised her voice in class today. While some of us are finding this class — well, is it too nerdy to say "exhilarating"? — others are unable or unwilling to take the material seriously. It's ironic that the guy with the stated goal of making $80K in his first year —"no problemo" — can't understand the importance of mastering the costing process.

News Flash!

ANOTHER Unit of Measure quiz! This one will be next Tuesday. Chef Stephanie suggested that we make a chart and post it in our bathrooms and study it between now and then. "What you write yourself, you learn. And you have lots of available time to review when you are in the bathroom. Make sure you ace this quiz, otherwise you will never be a chef."

so: metric weight: 1000 grams = 1 kilogram
metric volume: 1000 milliliters = 1 liter
US weight: 16 ounces = 1 pound
US volume: teaspoon x 3 = tablespoon x 2 = ounce x 8 = cup x 2 = pint x 2 = quart x 4 = gallon

Easy to see why metric is so much easier to deal with.

We did conversions from US to metric and back today (1 weight ounce [wz] = 28.35 grams, 1 fluid ounce [fz] = 30 ml), and worked more on our recipe templates, calculating unit cost from a price list that Chef provided. For example, how much is six ounces of bell pepper if you purchase a 25 pound box for $20? In the row behind me, Silvia muttered under her breath. "I came to cooking school because I hate math and I hate computers."

We have to bring another book to class, one that's been buried deep on the 18" high pile of books I got on the second day of class: The Book of Yields. This book will apparently be invaluable to us as we proceed to calculate the cost of chopped fresh herbs, determine drained weights, and price the individual parts of a whole chicken (with or without giblets.) Chapter 12: "The Proper Use of Cans, Scoops, Hotel Pans, and Sheet Trays in Costing." I'll keep you posted.

Formulas for Success

We had to build a number of multipage workbooks today, with absolute addresses, conditional formatting, and embedded comments. The six class members who skipped yesterday's session were having a hard time keeping up with the rest of us.

We're continuing to work on templates that will be useful later in the program and beyond: recipe costing, inventory calculations, food cost percentages, and the sort. As an aside, Chef Stephanie told us that one of her instructors in hospitality school said that the ideal amount of inventory is zero: you have no spoilage, no invested money, less opportunity for theft, fresher ingredients. Of course, it's not practical but it's an interesting goal.

I've determined a couple of things. I need to review the contents of my refrigerator more frequently, in order to use ingredients more efficiently, and waste less. My mental picture of my ideal job is becoming more amorphous: food and writing and ?

I need to say something about food, just for the hell of it. Last night was a simple pan sauté of chicken thighs, tomatoes, and olives, served on fettuccini tossed with garlic and olive oil. Tonight, it'll be homemade pizza in front of the TV. It's a big night for basketball. Chef Nelson dreams up his game plan over a cigar and a glass of scotch whiskey. We'll lose the cigar while we watch how it plays out.

AutoSum

We started our Excel training today, and got as far as doing basic math in cells. New information? Not so much today. I did realize that the autosum icon (the ∑ character) has a drop down option, a quick way to get to the function box. I also learned that in the Format -> Cell -> Alignment box, you can drag on the "orientation" dial to angle the text within a cell. Cute.

Tomorrow, we will be learning "the rest" of Excel, and Chef Stephanie warned us on the first day of class that tomorrow's competency may be the most difficult of all. I think we'll be using some intermediate functions (I'm pretty sure we won't be getting to anything "advanced" like financial or statistical functions), and linking pages within a workbook.

Today we started working on a spreadsheet that represents a staffing schedule. Tashana filled her jobs with notable names, including Michael Jackson and "Bush." Chef Stephanie was helping her enter the correct formula to calculate total hours and wages. "Give Bush a bad schedule," I said. Chef said, "And don't pay him very much."

More Crumbs

I realized today that I'm really looking forward to the Excel portion of the class next week. I've learned enough this past week to be sure I'll be getting some good useful information. I've made spreadsheets for parties quite a lot, for grocery shopping, but I've never costed anything out. That would make it seem more like work. As in "occupation", which is what this is becoming.

I feel very comfortable with the tools we're using now. It's the first time I've really thought about how much my previous experience can work in tandem with my current education to make me — I almost hate to write it down — a potentially valuable employee. We have a "skills" section in our resumés, and mine includes computer and internet literacy, research and writing, menu creation, self-published cookbooks, staff management, budgeting and purchasing, marketing and public relations, strategic management and new business development, and [National Restaurant Association] safety certification. Probably not the typical CCA-grad resumé. I need to remember that this baggage I'm carrying is not filled with dirty laundry.

How different is a day job when you feel really passionate about what you're doing?

Your order, please.

Chef Stephanie started this morning with a concise overview of the interview process. The importance of first impressions: "If you have a suit in your closet, wear it." You'll show that you're doing everything you can do to get the job. "For the females: if you can hear your jewelry, it's too much."

The inevitable question that comes in every interview is, "Tell me about yourself." Chef said the funniest answer she got was from a woman applying for a bartending job: "As you can see, I'm about twenty five pounds overweight..." Chef said, "I did learn that perhaps she has some low self esteem." She recommends that we prepare a three sentence answer to that question: where you are in your career, a point of recent work-related pride, and why you're interested in the job that's being offered.

"What is your weakness?", another inevitable question, is meant to disarm you, and your reaction is more important than the answer itself. Chef said, "Take a strength and add 'too': 'I am too detailed oriented.'" When you are asked why you left your last job, or why you're looking to leave, you should talk about yourself: "I was not as able to perform as well as I could..."

She said that a typical kitchen interview will take about 20 minutes. If you are dismissed in less than 12, you have "no chance." If your interviewer spends more than 25 minutes with you, it's a good sign.

She said the Deadly Sins, for her, were lack of preparation (including getting lost en route), body language that indicated a lack of enthusiasm, and lack of follow up. "I will remember the candidate who sends me a thank-you email."

Then we talked about Mail Merge for a bit. "Everybody uses Mail Merge. Use it a little creatively so that your letters look customized." For the rest of the morning, we worked on our menus. We had to include three different designated styles, clip art, word art, and a page border. Hungry?

Crumbs

Joe, who's in Manhattan these days, is always looking for ways to allieviate his occasional West Coast homesickness. He turned me on to this great article about a trans-continental engineering marvel, one that we just take for granted all too often.

Thanks, Joe. Rice and beans?

A Template for Life

Today was Resumé Day. First, we had a visit from James Wong from the Career Center. He dropped off a packet of information from the career services department, including forms that we must complete and return next week, or we'll fail this class. Seriously. We have to fill out the "Externship Ideas and Career Goals," the "Career Services Exit Interview," and a "Release of Information." We'll have two points of contact in Career Services: an externship counselor, and James, who will help us with permanent placement "if needed."

The classroom was full of energy this morning, as we each worked on our resumés with Chef Stephanie giving advice and assistance. Our resumés need to be formatted very specifically, with our contact information in a header: "Then the second page is immediately ready to become a cover letter. That shows to me that you are a very organized professional person." The four sections of the resumé body, Objective, Skills, Education, and Work History, are set up in a table, which she said is the easiest to update. She wants us to leave her class with a "lifetime resumé template," so she gives lots of leeway for personal style and preference, apart from her guidelines.

It's interesting to note how the resumé of a culinary professional differs from other types. Andrea spent most of an hour cutting down her three page curriculum vitae into a one-page document. She was on a PhD track in her previous life, where the more documentation you can provide, the better. My pre-culinary school resumé included lots of descriptive passages following each job, but those get omitted on the resumé of a chef. "You don't need to say that you opened and closed, and checked in the fish order, and folded napkins. Everybody knows what a prep cook does." Chef Stephanie said that she, as hiring manager for a boutique hotel, read twenty resumés every day, and she's a big fan of "clear and concise: the resumé is to get you the interview, not the job."

We also had to write a "pretend" cover letter: I asked Michael Bauer for a job as a recipe tester at the San Francisco Chronicle. Before leaving class today, we printed our resumé, our cover letter, and our current grade summary, and met with Chef Stephanie one-on-one. My resumé objective currently states "Staff writing position for a national culinary publication." (She recommends changing the objective to exactly mirror the job you are applying for.) "For that kind of job," she said, "you can write a longer cover letter. An editor probably has more time to read." She asked me about my experience at the CCA to date, if it was meeting my expectations, if there were any obstacles to my success. It's the first time I've really been asked formally for my opinion, aside from on-line surveys. I gave her the short version of my frustration with some of my classmates, how we've had valuable class time used up with long lectures about performance and attitude. "You should not be hearing that speech anymore," she said. "You cannot get much further in the program if you are not performing."

For tomorrow, we have to bring a menu: 3 appetizers, 3 salads, 3 entrées, 3 desserts. Chef gave us a "Market Basket" list of ingredients for reference. For now, we don't need recipes, just a listing of the dishes. I have the feeling that this is the beginning of our "big project"— I'm anticipating a report that will include a master menu, recipes, purchasing lists, and a cost analysis. I asked if I could make mine breakfast.

Tabs and Tables

I bought the Chronicle this morning at Starbuck's, because it hadn't yet been delivered to my house when I left for school. In the student dining room, I shared sections with Dava and Tashana before class started. Dava said that even though she's busy with school, she plans to pay close attention to politics this year. Tashana asked me who Imus and Rutgers are. "Do they always have this page with letters to the editor?" Dava asked who the last Democratic president was, and when I said, "Bill Clinton," she said, "But Hillary's a Republican, right?"

* If you double-click on the Format Painter tool, you can use it repeatedly.

Chef Stephanie emphasized some document formatting tricks today which made a lot of sense to me. She suggested typing all your data into the document before beginning formatting (we copied a sample wine list, with glass and bottle pricing, and sections for sparkling, red, and white wines.) Don't ever use the space bar for alignment ("It's completely unstable"). There should only be one tab between two words or pieces of information. Use paragraph formatting between paragraphs, instead of hard returns.

When she showed the class how to insert a table into a document, she said, "It looks rigid and solid. It is not." Our competency for today was to format a recipe we brought into class. I took my mother's Kuchen (generic "cake" in German) recipe — I have a scanned copy of the three handwritten 4x6 cards that she has tucked behind the plastic pages of a yellowed photo album.
Her recipe is in prose, with the ingredients interspersed throughout, so rewriting it into a more readable format was a useful exercise.

Though not as fun as making it.

"The floppy is from the last century."

Chef Stephanie doesn't have to wear a toque over her curly locks, nor an apron: she's in tailored slack and striped blouse, but we're all required to be in uniform, including hats and side towels. The sun comes out when she says she's fine with beverages in the classroom, but food can make the keyboards messy. (Actually, beverages can be a problem, also: I remember when Danny Lemos spilled his take-away margarita on the computer at the radio station where he was working...)

Chef has a thick Swiss/French accent, and, appropriately, she pronounces "hit" as "eat," as in "'Eat' the enter key." Right at the beginning of class, she acknowledges the possibility that some of us are already fairly proficient in Word and Excel, but she promises to provide "one or two tips per day that you haven't seen before." Sounds good to me.

Travis and Jim aren't in class this morning, though they're on the roster. Everybody else, sleepy-looking, has returned from Spring Break. Andrea has a big bandage on an index finger where she sliced off much of a nail while cooking at home. She admits that there was wine involved. Derrick wonders if she can get a discount on a nine-fingered manicure.

We'll spend the first half of the three weeks on Software Applications, then move into Kitchen Math and Purchasing. Sounds like that class will require "a big project" but we receive no more informationon that today, except that what we learn about Word and Excel will be essential. We have a quiz every day, worth five points (half a grade, on the 100 point scale!) plus a "compentency" every day: an in-class project of varying complexity. Today, we had to copy a letter and a menu from our syllabus, two pages in total, and correctly format them in a sans serif font. When we're finished, we can leave, so Tashana, Andrea and I stroll out at about 11am, while Rudy is still trying to figure out how to change the font on the entire document, rather than the word he has highlighted. Other competencies will involve recipe, menu, and resume writing.

So I did learn some things today, about Word:

* Did you know that you can use control+scroll wheel to change the page size percentage?

* You can double-click in the blue "margin" section of your ruler to open the Page Set Up window. If you put your cursor in the blue section, and get the double arrow icon, you change the margins manually. Hold down the "alt" key to get the exact margin dimension.

*If you right-click on a word, you'll get a drop-down list that includes "synonyms."

Chef Stephanie described a serif font as having "implied connectivity between the letters of the word." I thought that was a very poetic way to describe it.

And she showed us a couple of QuickTime movies, one of Bill Gates being cream pie'd in Brussels, one of a man in a cubicle literally beating up on his computer. She said we should ask questions before we start abusing the equipment.

And to save our work, we should bring a flash drive: "The floppy is from the last century."

What Do You Want From Life? *

Well, it was a pretty relaxed week. I made a little bit of progress towards finding some externship options, baked a lot, got the herbs for the planter box (just this morning!), and had breakfast out twice and lunch out once. And read a bunch of books and magazines — right now I'm in the middle of Norman Mailer's new book which is a fictionalized biography of Adolph Hitler, from the point of view of the devil who has been assigned to his "case."

The week wasn't all pleasant, however. I was really sad that Gina was sent home, and then Uchenna and Joyce got stuck in Frankfurt!! That happened to me and Megan. I wonder if they stayed at the same sterile airport hotel full of disgruntled passengers who missed their connections...

I reviewed the syllabus for this next class, Software Applications. I was perturbed to learn that by the conclusion of the course, I'll be able to "understand and use the MS Windows operating system, understand basic word-processing and desktop publishing using Word, and understand basic spreadsheet creation and analysis using Excel." And there's no coffee allowed in the computer lab. Could be grim.

* Correct answer: "a baby's arm holding an apple"

Happy Easter!

It Was A Short Nap

Before lunch, I made the Strawberry Champagne Terrine, and some pesto with the herbs that Chef Vinita gave me. I put stock on to cook — chicken and duck bones, mirepoix, herbs and peppercorns. After it simmered for two hours, I strained it and reduced it all afternoon (you can doze while it bubbles).



I made two kinds of bread: this one's Schiacciata Con Zibobbo (Flat Bread with Raisins): like a foccacia. Besides raisins, it has fried rosemary in it, and lots of raw sugar on top:



The other loaf is Pain de Provence. It used up two whole tablespoons of the Herbes de Provence that Meghan brought me, along with orange liqueur. "Beauchant preferred," but Grand Marnier will do in a pinch. We made do with triple sec.



It was a full day, stereo on loud, windows open. Just what a vacation day should be. Now it's time to unload and then refill the dishwasher, and think about a dinner plan.

Stock-Making, Stock-Taking

A pause in the action, and inevitably some introspection.

* I have to say — I have said, to more than one person, just recently — how very much I enjoy virtually everything about this experience. There is never the part where I say, "Oh, this is so boring," or "I hate this part of the job." Sometimes it's energizing, sometimes it's routine to the point of Zen. Sometimes it's like making the bed: I can't really go on to the next thing until that's complete. But the subject matter is infinitely engrossing.

* I've had to remind myself a little bit that vacation and other such little niceties are really out of the question — in part, because of my schedule but mostly, because this is a most extravagent adventure that I'm on, already. But you know the MasterCard acquisition mentality that comes into play: watch a show, turn the page of a magazine, and there's another place we need to go, another darling shoe. (Ha!! and where is it that I go these days, where I need more darling shoes?) Anyway, when I think "ah, vacation," I just remember that I'm in the middle of the vacation of my dreams.

* I'm finding that I'm paying close attention to hands, the way that they work, the way I can learn from them. (Watching David put up a net in the front yard, damn those deer: he holds his hand just so, while pulling the net just so, very efficient, very effective.) I've never really had a job where the physical doing of the task was so much the focus. Aside from where you put your fingers when typing on a keyboard, of course, but how many of the techie guys that I worked for used two fingers? Or some other weird self-taught combination? Nothing you needed to emulate, at any rate. But Chef Afreen as she washed rice, Chef Judy as she patted the dough to fill the pan, Chef Allen with his knife in the butcher's grip: there are lessons to learn there.

* The stock-making will come tomorrow: there's a bag of poultry bones in the freezer, ready to be transformed. I'm also going to try a French Laundry recipe for Easter Brunch: "Strawberry and Champagne Terrine," and I'll be able to use the gelatin sheets I bought years ago in London. I don't think they go stale.

Sea Cruise

Well, not actually, but I did take the ferry from Oakland to San Francisco, a 30 minute picturesque journey that winds up at the foot of Market Street, and it was a lovely day. Lots of orange and black disembarking, as the Giants had their home opener this afternoon. And a couple of iconic bits of scenery:



I love this sculpture, "Cupid's Span", and even more, the Vaillancourt Fountain, across the street from the Ferry Building. I love that I live where such wonderful, outrageous work is part of our public space.



And the Ferry Building itself, filled to overflowing with deliciousness. I bought .... well, a bunch of stuff:



...carrots, mandarins, baby potatoes; tiny shiitake and giant King Trumpet mushrooms; smoked duck breast and smoked salmon; honey from the flowers of the tanbark oak tree; strawberries, mascarpone and wonderful cottage cheese, and breaking the "100 mile rule," truffle salt and truffle oil. Then I had a double espresso.

I sat in the sun by the fountain and read, for a while, then took BART to Millbrae where Sandra picked me up, and we headed to Roti in Burlingame for a lovely Indian lunch. I had chicken curry with rice that Chef Afreen would have loved, and yellow pea dal, and "indian lemonade" that was more salty than sweet. Upon returning to the Embarcadero BART station, I had just enough time for a double gelato from the Ciao Bella stand: pistachio and green tea. Interesting combination. The tea was pungent and earthy next to the sweet and salty pistachio. Then a quick return trip on the boat — too quick, unfortunately, for a little nap. But I feel like I've had a small vacation! And I have all these fun things to play with. Tonight: chicken with pilaf, carrots, and mushrooms. I think.

Beverage Notes

Had a couple of unique drinking experiences over the weekend...

I received an issue of Imbibe magazine, unsolicited, and found a recipe for homemade tonic water (even our favorite brand, Schweppes, contains the evil HFCS, "and/or sugar"). Jenny's imminent birthday was inspiration enough to whip up a batch, since she's always game for a G&T, but I had to order ingredients online so the present was delayed. The integral ingredient, quinine, is an anti-malarial, and the G&T, legend has it, became popular in malarial regions as a tolerable way to take one's medicine, literally.

You start with a sugar syrup, then add quinine (very finely powdered cinchona bark), citric acid, lemongrass, lime zest, and lime juice. That mixture steeps for a while, then you strain it many many times through coffee filters, making a big sticky mess. The resulting syrup is very medicinal looking and tasting. You mix it with gin and soda water, with a squeeze of lime, and then you're transported to a different time and place altogether.



I was similarly transported by the coffee after last night's dinner. Le Cheval is a popular Oakland spot, wildly busy on a Sunday night, serving a large variety of Vietnamese specialties. I'd never had Viet coffee before, and it was a treat. Your mug is presented with a thick layer of sweetened condensed milk on the bottom, topped by the coffee dripping through your own individual filter. A second cup holds hot water and a spoon, so you can dilute and/or stir your coffee as you please. What a delicious finish to dinner! And I stayed awake through the entire 11 pm newscast.