"I want you to get every penny's worth."

With that pledge, Chef Patricio set the tone for the next three weeks (Principles of American Cuisine). In so many ways, his class is a departure from last week's experience. The list was on the whiteboard when we arrived in class: ∅5x2. ∅Soda. ∅iPods. ∅backpacks. "5x2" means smoking breaks: according to Chef, you're wasting the 5 minutes that you're smoking, and each cigarette costs 10 minutes of life. No soda, because "our mission is to educate." No iPods: "This is not the mall." But he does have a little boom box, and he does turn it on, and it's tuned to KFOG, and that seemed to go over well with the class. And the backpacks -- that's a school rule.

Chef Patricio looks a little like a mid-career Tony Bennett, with a Hispanic (NOC) accent. He started our lecture talking about the four major civilizations of the New World: the Incas, the Mayans, the Aztecs, and ("...the one from this country. I love this question. No one ever knows the answer!") the Anasazi. And as we know, Colombus (Chef charmingly calls him "Colombe") and his merry men viewed indigenous peoples as "savages," whose goods and supplies they felt free to plunder. Foodstuffs were among their most valuable acquisitions: corn, potatoes, sweet potatoes, peanuts, tomatoes, papayas, pineapples, avocados, chile peppesr, cotton and cocoa.

Our first region of study is Argentina, so we talked a lot about cows, and meat, and gauchos. And Chef gave a little testimonial on the benefits of yerba mate. "the ancient drink of health and friendship." He piqued our interest, for sure, but Silvia said, "You don't have to drink it from the little straw, do you?"

We cooked: Mixed Baby Green Salad. ("You will never make salad dressing in this class. A dish of olive oil, a dish of red wine vinegar, salt, pepper, a bowl of lemon wedges.) Carbonada Criolla. (Stew with veal, pork and squash. Silvia, Andy and I made it.) Green Rice Pilaf. Grilled Marinated Flank Steak with Chimichurri. Marinated Grilled Vegetables. Honey Cake.

But my heart is heavy, friends. Tashana wasn't in class today and I called to check up on her. She, Julian, Travis, and Jim have all withdrawn from school.