"The Worst Day Ever"?

Andrea and Derrick said it simultaneously, when we got into the hall after Chef Alain finally excused us from today's class.

Instead of our scheduled lecture on the cultures and cuisines of Eastern Europe, we had an overview of herbs and spices, from A to Z. The presentation was lengthy, and the information imparted by the Chef was superficial: the kind of data you'd get from reading the side of the bottles in Aisle 8B at Albertson's.

And the food-making (the cooking, as it were) was disjointed and unfocused. "There will be anarchy," Andrea predicted. Jordan and Andy made a lovely hungarian goulash, but it clearly could not be served at the scheduled 11:00 am meal time, as it requires 4 hours of simmer time. Silvia went through all the instructions for tiramisu, the "correct way," then had to abruptly change gears when Chef realized that we were missing some essential ingredients, like mascarpone and amaretto. So she helped me assemble the Charlotte Russe with the ladyfingers I made yesterday. True to form, though, Chef got into the middle of the assembly, taking over even the process of whipping cream in the KitchenAid mixer. ("Do you know that we don't even know how to properly whip cream?" Andy asked.) Tashana and Marco AMAZINGLY did not know how to properly cut the parchment into a circle, before covering it with beans and blind-baking their tart crust. Most of our dishes were not completed today. We only had the little meat pies that Andrea made.

I think Chef Alain would be most comfortable in a demonstration classroom, where he could have students prepare his mis-en-place and then show the entire class the "correct way." As it currently stands, we're beginning to understand the real dilemma: if you ask Chef for input, he will commandeer the process. Asking for direction is tantamount to admitting total ignorance. On the other hand, if you gird your loins and proceed without his advice, you run the risk of becoming the recipient of yelling, often from across the room: "Did no one show you how to properly ____________?" [Fill in the blank.]

A parallel irritation, Dava disappeared for almost an hour during clean-up. When she returned, she looked around at the empty kitchen and asked loudly, "Where are my duxelles? Where are my duxelles?" Chef soon picked up the refrain, until Silvia said, "I didn't know what they were. They didn't look good. They weren't marked. I didn't know who they belonged to. I'll make them for you tomorrow." Chef changed his tune, directing us all to take care to properly put away our preparations and ingredients. As we walked out of the classroom, Andrea said, "Nobody's mopped the floor yet." And Tashana said, primly, "We saved that job for Dava today."