The Paradigm for Exaggeration

So, if you're going to say something outlandish, make it really outlandish: the most effective exaggeration is the most unbelievable. For example, "The World's Greatest Pizza" is a more effective claim than "The World's Largest Pizza."

We talked about menu planning and design, and Chef Stazi urged us to take a seemingly backwards view at restaurant development: plan your menu first. It will affect your kitchen design, your equipment, your design and decor, and your ideal location. Sort of a "start with the end in mind" approach.

The design and engineering of a menu are extremely important. As Chef reminded us, the menu is unique among marketing materials in that there is a 100% guarantee that it will be read. We learned that the NRA — "our" NRA, the National Restaurant Association — has established "menu accuracy guidelines," so that specifics like portion size, origin, and brand, when listed on a menu, are indeed factual. However, there is no such thing as the Menu Police.

This discussion reminded me of many conversations I had with my son when he was young. He was ready to phone the Menu Police many times. Similarly, he tried to convince me that it was "illegal" to have a "Beware of Dog" sign on our gate, when we actually had no dog.

We spent some time using a quadrant tool to analyze a theoretical menu, based on an X of increasing popularity and a Y of increasing profit. "Star" menu items are things like creme brulée and caesar salad, popular items where the food costs are low, and your mark-up is considerable.

After break, we jumped into The Employment Cycle: 10 steps (job description, recruitment, application form, interview, reference check, orientation, training, performance review, progressive discipline, termination). I was very impressed at the level of detail that Chef Stazi provided on these various steps. For many of my classmates, most of whom have only recent entered the job market, he set some very high expectations of the ways things are "professionally" done, while acknowledging that in actual practice, many employers gravely miss the mark. He especially emphasized the importance of a complete job description, reference checks, and training. He noted that "stealing" as a recruitment method is rampant in our industry, but he also reminded the class of the inevitability of karma. He warned against the "protected class" questions that can pop up on applications and in interviews, and gave useful tips on ways to avoid them, on both sides of the table.

Most impressively, Chef gave a in-depth example of a progressive discipline policy in action, using Andy's recurrent tardiness as an example. (Andy, of course, epitomizes responsible employee behavior.) As Chef went through the role-playing, what came through most clearly was his concern for fairness, both from the obvious CYA standpoint as well as from a concern for doing the right thing. I hope it was sinking in.

Aaron texted Tashana in the middle of The Employment Cycle: bye to all, he's dropping out.

After class, I met with Chef Stazi in his cubicle on the fifth floor. Not all the elevators even go to the fifth floor, so it was a new and exciting experience for me. We talked through my thoughts about post-CCA work, and he started by drawing an inverted pyramid and dividing it into quadrants, which he titled "Food Writing," "Food Development/Test Kitchen," "Teaching," and "Hotel/Country Club." He likes charts. I told him that I'd promised my husband that I wouldn't be adopting "chef hours," and I didn't have to explain any further. He took a red pen to my resume, which he said was "delightfully eclectic," and he told me to join the American Culinary Federation. We talked about next steps: research and pondering, and he dropped some names of people he can contact, "when the time is right." He said, "I'm very successful at this." You can tell that he appreciates being asked.

I have to give my oral presentation tomorrow. It's going to be on the Five-Second Rule.