"Dead people can make chardonnay."

"It's that easy to grow." Pinot noir and viognier, on the other hand, are a little tricky.

We did the tour of California today, metaphorically, but first Steve talked about some publications that we should know about. The Wine Advocate is the home of the 100 point scale as defined by Robert Parker, Jr. "You may not agree with him," Steve said, "but you sure as hell need to know who he is." Steve likes his reviews of French and Italian wines, but with regard to California, "I usually don't know what he's talking about."

The Wine Spectator is "the most powerful publication." The news is timely and useful but the reviews: "not very good." Apparently their writers like the "country-western school of wine writing: fifteen words, arranged in various ways."

The International Wine Cellar is a journal published by Stephen Tanzer: "our" Steve thinks he's got a critical eye, and his bias is clear, so you can soon decide where you tend to agree with him, and where you don't.

Of course, he had to mention his own publication, The Connoisseur's Guide to California Wine (we received a complementary copy of the current issue, which focuses on cabernet sauvignon.)

And most of all, he likes Decanter, from England. "They've always had the best professional wine writers there."

We reviewed the significant ("backbone") California whites (from light to full: pinot gris, chenin blanc, riesling, gewurtztraminer, sauvignon blanc, viognier and chardonnay) and reds (gamay, pinot noir, sangiovese, merlot, zinfandel, cabernet sauvignon, syrah, and petite sirah). In the 60s and 70s, new vintners would buy land and plant a little bit of everything, but we're beginning to see, after over 30 years of experience in some places, significant focus in particular areas on the grapes that do well there. It's all about the dirt!

Our goal is not to memorize "good" and "bad" producers but to begin to identify the significant wine regions of California, so that we can begin to make "educated guesses" on the basis of a wine's place of origin.

So, not to oversimplify the situation, but Carneros is good for pinot noir, crisp chardonnay, and sparkling wines. Napa Valley is becoming increasingly focused on cabernet sauvignon and merlot, with the sharper wines (the ones that need some age) coming from the colder, harsher "mountain" appellations.

Sonoma's most significant areas are Dry Creek Valley, for sauvignon blanc and zinfandel; the Russian River Valley, for crisp chardonnays, sauvignon blanc, and "truly spectacular" pinot noir; and Green Valley-Sonoma, for sparkling wines.

In Monterey County, the Santa Lucia Highlands are producing world-class pinot noirs and chardonnays. Paso Robles, in San Luis Obispo County, has "extraordinary" zinfandels as well as Rhone-style reds, and the Santa Maria Valley appellation in Santa Barbara County is home to "very reliable" pinot noirs and chardonnays.

Basically, we're learning to associate varietals with places, as we did with our study of France.

We started our tasting session with "a good example of what we can do with viognier," from RH Phillips (Dunnigan Hills in Yolo County), a versatile, accessible rosé ("Vin Gris de Cigare") from Bonny Doon, and a pinot noir from Bethel Heights in the Willamette Valley in Oregon ("pick your pork"). Then we had a Quivira zinfandel from Dry Creek Valley, which, according to the label, is "a real wine made by real people in a real place."

We finished up with a great lineup of heavy hitters: a Shafer Napa Valley merlot, a Turnbull Napa Valley cabernet sauvignon, and a Tablas Creek Paso Robles syrah, all "pretty serious" wines but each made with distinctive and recognizable grapes. It seemed a shame to settle for a few sips of each, but I'm the designated driver.

Steve has apparently arm-wrestled our business instructor for another day of Wine Studies. Consequently, we'll talk about sparkling wines and champagnes on Monday, then take our final, then "guzzle, or rather, judiciously taste" some representative bubbly. I volunteered to bring snacks.