If We Were All Breatharians, We Wouldn't Need Culinary School

Whereas the cake decorating day was our hardest in baking and pastry, vegan day in Contemporary Cuisine presented a different kind of challenge to us all. Cake decorating requires precision. Vegan cooking — and eating — felt almost like spending the morning in a country where no one speaks your language. As we sat talking after the buffet, before our final clean-up, Derrick said, "Well, it wasn't as bad as I thought."

We spent our first 30 minutes working in small groups, discussing our group project for presentation in week three. Unsurprisingly, Jim didn't show today, so Dava and I consulted with Chef Vinita as to how we should handle his unreliability. Essentially, he's cut loose. Chef reiterated, "We don't worry about those who are not here." Yet she frets. She shook her finger at Travis, as we left class today — today was his first appearance. "I'd better see you in class tomorrow," she admonished. "I can become your worst nightmare!"

Our lecture covered two aspects of veganism: the rationale for adopting a vegan diet, and the health implications. Among the reasons to eat vegan: health, love for animals, culture/family background, environmental activism, and ethical beliefs. Chef Vinita spoke at length about the inability to specifically categorize vegans, who, like the rest of us, live within a continuum of choices: honey? wool? leather? pets? a trip to the zoo?

Chef's description of breatharians ("Absolutely mindblowing!") reminded me of some of Chef Allen's anecdotes in Butchery (about variety meats, or sea urchins): provided mostly for their potential shock value.

Many of us cooked tempeh today. It comes in a plastic package, a solid flat eight ounce mass of sprouted soy beans. You can parboil it or use it as is. Our buffet today included tempeh in a sort of mock-tuna salad; fried rice; and yellow curry. Oh, and my contribution: tempeh "cutlets" with orange-ginger sauce. We also had mango/payapa Thai salad; nachos (using pre-seasoned beef substitute and "cheese sauce" made with nutritional yeast); quinoa-peanut soup; and Indonesian rice pancakes with sautéed vegetables. We also had three desserts: vegan versions of chocolate chip cookies and brownies, and date-banana cookies. They weren't strictly vegan, because they included (processed) granulated sugar instead of raw sugar, another "essential" ingredient that Chef Vinita is trying to make available.

I took my assignment very seriously, and I think everyone did: using our acquired skills to prepare our dishes with care. With "love," even. But still, most of what we ate today was not particularly tasty. I made a sauce of red onions, orange juice, garlic, ginger, capers, and orange segments, spiced with red pepper flakes and thickened with arrowroot. I cut the tempeh into triangles and used soy milk and dijon mustard as a faux "egg wash"; the cutlets were dredged in a mixture of rice flour and polenta, seasoned with minced fresh thyme, basil, oregano, and pepper. I pan-fried them in canola oil, and they were nice and crispy outside, chewy and somewhat nutty in flavor, but not really that good. Chef Vinita loves them though. "For me, this is not an acquired taste. It is delicious." She leaned in a bit to say, "And very good for menopausal symptoms." I don't know. For me, it's a stretch.

After tasting the various items on her plate, Andrea said, "I don't like it. It all tastes the same to me." But I think if you were choosing a vegan diet, part of the attraction has to do with the concept of simplicity.

Before she dismissed us, Chef Vinita entreated us: "Please eat vegan one day a month! It will change your life!" As I split paths with some of my classmates outside the campus, I said, "I think I'm going to go home and make a grilled cheese sandwich." Andy said, "I think you should put some bacon on that."